When will it be OK again? How will we know when the new normal has arrived? What will OK feel like? What am I putting off while I wait for OK? Is the limbo of not knowing the worst part? Or is it worse to think I must commit to the way things are right now? How would I change the way I am living if I could foresee an endpoint? What if that endpoint was two years out? If I lose someone to COVID-19 how can I ever be OK? Even if a new normal arrives, I will never get back what I lost this year. It will never be OK that this happened.
In past blogs I have spent time on the elements that make our current situation difficult to deal with. The pressure to adapt quickly to ever-shifting and overwhelming circumstances, the change or loss of our routines, and the disruption of our self-care habits. Even the way we practice medicine has changed. Each challenge has its unique set of stressors, but common to all is the element of limbo. We are stuck in a waiting pattern. We are hovering, getting through each day, waiting for our lives to return to normal.
Veterinary professionals are incredible in their ability to rise to the occasion. On a day when things are difficult or off we grumble just like anyone… but on a day when the proverbial feces truly hit the fan… when it’s do or die… It’s astonishing how much we can accomplish. COVID-19 is a disruption of colossal proportions. It is parvo diarrhea hitting a wind turbine bad. Which means the response among veterinary professionals has had to be proportional. But rising to the occasion is by definition a deviation from normal. It is a temporary solution to a difficult situation. If a return to normal is not possible, a new normal must be constructed.
Constructing a new normal however, means giving up our previous, likely preferred normal. So we resist committing ourselves fully to change and we end up in limbo. Waiting, wishing, and burning out.
Beyond a natural reluctance to change, I believe the unknown and unknowable timeline of the COVID-19 pandemic is the biggest factor in our collective resistance. If we could know for sure the “COVID normal” would last for the next 18 months, but no longer, we would grumble, sigh, cry maybe… then get to work creating a rhythm that would get us through. Same thing would be true if we were told it would be six months, or even 36 months. While we might have different degrees of adjustment to make for each timeline, and different levels of stress, I think KNOWING would help us immeasurably. Limbo would be banished and we could move forward with a framework around which to build our days. We could make a plan and execute it. We would be in charge of our lives again, despite a novel and disagreeable set of working parameters.
Unfortunately, we are not going to get a firm timeframe, there are too many moving parts. Even if all projections agreed on the timeline necessary to create, manufacture, and distribute an effective vaccine… We don’t know if science and politics will play nice long enough for the projection to be borne out. We can’t predict how much societal and economic damage will accumulate and extend the period of recovery beyond the management of the coronavirus itself. At best, we can agree that the remainder of 2020 is likely toast.
On a more personal note, looking into the future can be scary if you can’t answer the question “when will I feel OK again?”. The timeline for this question does not necessarily follow a social, economic, or scientific timeline. It is a very personal question and part of what makes an endpoint so murky. Each one of us has a different set of internal benchmarks to meet in order to feel as though we are OK. For some, feeling OK may be directly tied to vaccine efficacy and the protection of vulnerable loved ones. For others it will be about economic recovery and rebuilding relationships that have been strained or lost during COVID. For some it may be as simple as gym time and coffee dates. For still others, “OK” relies on progression through a grief process or a trauma-recovery process.
So we don’t know when the world will be ok and we don’t know when we will be ok personally. Is it any wonder that planning our lives has been difficult? Think of your typical approach to a problem in which time is a factor. You likely assess the available time, the tasks that need to be accomplished, then you construct a time-dependent plan to make it work. I’m not saying the plans are always good ones or that you always use the allotted time well (stay tuned for future episodes), but at least there is a strategy. You are able to move with purpose or procrastinate at will. Without a timeframe however, it is difficult even to draft a list of tasks. Do you tread water and wait or commit to a direction and swim?
I am advocating for swim. Pick a direction and get started. Assume a timeline and build a strategy. It’s true, you may well need to adjust your plan as new information comes to light, but really, we do that in life anyway. We never plan for a flat tire or food poisoning. We don’t plan to fall in love or lose a job. Life is constantly throwing curve balls at us, and after we get up and dust ourselves off, we generally start moving again. Granted we are currently dealing with a meteor sized curve ball, but in our daily lives, our response must be the same. Set a course and correct as needed.
“Plans are nothing; planning is everything”
Dwight D. Eisenhower
Today’s handout will guide you through a series of questions designed to facilitate the construction of an action plan. Taking control through planning will help you to leave limbo behind and reengage with your life despite the current climate of uncertainty.
The TLC Wellness Journey will continue next week with a discussion of the book: The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg and a podcast entitled The Science of Habit Formation. I invite you to follow my blog, subscribe to my podcast, and sign-up for my Newsletter to keep abreast of my latest work.
Take care always,
